Sarah knew better.
She swore she wouldn’t fall for it again.
But here she was, staring at her phone, waiting for a text from a guy who was perfect last week but now suddenly "busy."
Her brain, ever the messy bitch, was already doing mental gymnastics:
Maybe he lost his phone.
Maybe he’s just bad at texting.
Maybe he’s in a coma, and his last thought was about how much he likes me.
But deep down, she knew the truth.
She always fell for the ones who kept her guessing.
The ones who were just out of reach.
Because when someone was available, she lost interest.
Her brain would hit her with the classic: "It’s too easy. I feel no butterflies. We don't have chemistry."
But what she thought was chemistry was just a trauma response.
Sarah wasn’t just unlucky in love.
She was wired to chase unavailability because deep down she thought love had to be earned.
She thought the chase was love.
So she kept running toward people who made her work for affection.
And if she didn’t break the cycle, she’d keep running toward the same heartbreak, just with a different face.
At first, she didn’t want to accept it.
The idea that her attraction wasn’t some cosmic connection but just her nervous system reliving an old wound was too brutal for her to acknowledge.
But then she started paying attention.
The "instant spark" she felt only ever showed up when someone was inconsistent.
The guys who made her feel safe bored her.
The highs were addicting, but the lows always came next.
And the scariest realization for her was that if she kept chasing the rush, she’d never find real love.
So, she made a decision.
No more mistaking anxiety for excitement.
No more glorifying the chase.
She started recognizing the patterns before they pulled her in.
She stopped feeding the fantasy.
She learned how to choose people who chose her back.
It didn't happen immediately, but over time, her deliberate choices allowed her to finally experience what love was supposed to feel like with a partner who chose her for who she was.
Like Sarah's journey, I want you to know that this situation won’t change overnight.
But if you’re tired of wasting time on people who never truly choose you, start here:
Clock the emotional high: If someone makes you feel obsessed instead of safe, that’s your first red flag.
Detach from the fantasy: The version of them in your head isn’t real. Pay attention to what they’re actually showing you.
Break the addiction: Attraction should feel exciting, not exhausting. If you’re constantly anxious, it’s not love. It’s self-destruction with a prettier name.
If you still ignore the signs after reading this, know that your next heartbreak is already in motion.
The only question is when.
You can keep following this cycle and hope something magically makes the cycle of you always chasing unavailable people end differently.
Or you can stop waiting for love to just happen and start choosing it intentionally, confidently, and without falling into the same traps.
This is exactly what my Dating Clarity Sprint does.
In 7 days, you’ll rewire your dating patterns, break toxic attraction loops, and stop wasting time on the wrong people.
One year from now, you’ll either be in the love you deserve or looking back, wishing you had started today.