LET'S SET THE SCENE 🌅
You’re on another bad first date. The kind where you knew it wasn’t going anywhere in five minutes, but you’re stuck making small talk about your favourite Netflix shows while internally screaming, Why am I here again?
It’s not your fault. Dating feels impossible when you don’t know what you’re looking for. You swipe, hope, settle and then go back to square one.
The truth is that the problem isn’t dating apps or bad luck. It’s that you’re dating without a clear vision.
This year, that changes.
I’ll show you how to create a dating vision so you can stop wasting time on the wrong people and start building the kind of relationship you want.
THE BREAKDOWN 🔧
Dating without a plan is like driving to a new city without a Map—or how people know it, a GPS. You’ll get lost, frustrated, and waste fuel, only to end up nowhere.
A dating vision is your map. It gives you clarity about:
Your Needs (as they’re the most important).
Your wants A.K.A. your “nice-to-haves” in a potential partner
Your values A.KA. your non-negotiables.
Red flags before you swim to the deep end.
It’s not about being picky. It’s about being intentional.
Most people think they have a dating vision when all they have is a wish list;
Tall.
Dark
Handsome
Loves Watching Animes
Funny.
Loves dogs.
But a real dating vision isn’t about looks or hobbies. It’s about figuring out:
How you want to feel in a relationship.
The kind of life you want to build with someone.
The values you need them to share.
This isn’t a checklist, it’s a framework for recognizing the right person when you see them.
Where most people get it wrong is that they start with their dream partner. But this isn’t about a potential perfect partner, it’s about you.
So, start by asking yourself:
What’s worked and what hasn’t?: Think about your past relationships. What did they teach you about what you need and what you won’t tolerate?
What are your non-negotiables?: These aren’t preferences, they’re the values and traits you need to feel safe, loved, and happy in a romantic relationship.
What does your ideal relationship look like?: Picture your day-to-day life with your potential partner in a romantic relationship. How do you spend time? How do you handle conflict?
When doing this, be careful not to:
Confuse chemistry with compatibility. This is a common and easily committed blunder. That spark you feel can and will blind you to big red flags if you let it.
Create a list so rigid no one can meet your standards. I like to call this mistake the “Superman” effect. Remember no one is perfect, especially you.
Prioritize what looks good on paper over what feels good in real life. Most of what you’ve seen in romantic comedy movies sold to use by Hollywood isn’t real.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
If you’re tired of wasting time on the wrong people, I’m offering one-on-one coaching sessions to help you clarify your dating vision.
I’m opening a limited number of spots for these sessions this week. Together, We’ll work on giving you clarity, confidence, and a roadmap to attracting the romantic relationship partner you’ve always wanted.
This is your year. Let’s make it count.
YOUR GAMEPLAN 🎮
Anyway, here are 3 things you can start doing today that will help you define your dating vision today:
Write it down: Spend 10 minutes journaling about the kind of relationship you want. Don’t hold back.
Audit your habits: Are your dating patterns aligned with your vision? Or are you stuck repeating old mistakes?
Set boundaries: Protect your time and energy by only entertaining people who align with your values.
This isn’t about rushing into anything. It’s about making decisions that move you closer to your desired relationship.
QUICK NOTE 📨
If this was useful, share it with a friend caught in the same dating cycle.
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Let’s make this the year love stops feeling so hard for you.
Talk Soon,
Chike Oranye