Infidelity Uncovered

Did you know…

Cheaters experience a “cheater’s high”?

Studies have found that people who cheat often feel a temporary boost in happiness after the act, especially if they believe no one will get hurt.

In today’s newsletter issue, we'd be diving into the main forms of cheating, the consequences it brings, and how to avoid engaging in its different forms.

Keep reading to find out how to protect yourself and maintain integrity in your romantic relationship with your partner.

Understanding the different ways cheating can happen will help you spot it before it wrecks your relationship, reputation, and life.

However…

But if you don't know what to look for, you'll be blindsided when it hits.

At best, you'll be shocked. At worst, you'll find yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of breakups and heartache, all because you lack the specific knowledge needed to arm you with foresight.

Imagine this…

You're in a long-term relationship, and it's comfortable. Your partner knows you inside out, but lately, things have become routine. You love them, but the spark feels dim.

Then, one day, you meet someone new. They laugh at your jokes, make you feel alive again, and there's an undeniable chemistry. It's exciting, thrilling even. You find yourself looking forward to seeing them, and your mind starts to wander. What if?

You know it’s wrong, but the temptation is strong. You start rationalizing: maybe your partner takes you for granted, maybe you deserve to feel this rush, maybe it’s just harmless fun. You’re torn between the loyalty you owe your current partner and the excitement you crave.

Every time you see this new person, the tension grows. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and the idea of crossing that line becomes less and less daunting. You feel like you’re on the edge of a cliff, knowing one step forward changes everything.

Before jumping to the conclusion of “this can never be me”, relax!

People who were once called “cheats” at one point in their lives were once where you are now.

No! I’m not pointing fingers or trying to shame anyone.

What am I trying to say is that cheating doesn’t just happen.

It’s a gradual slide into choices that feel good in the moment but end up shattering everything you’ve built down the line.

Now that you know that “it can never be me” could easily become you,

Here’s the gist of it…

Cheating in romantic relationships means being emotionally or physically intimate with someone other than your partner thereby breaking trust in one’s relationship.

Usually, people who cheat just want something new, not necessarily better. From my professional experience, there are the four main types of cheating:

The One-Night Stand: This is the most common. It's when someone in a committed relationship has a one-time fling—usually involving any form of sexual activity— with someone else that is not their romantic partner. It often happens with someone they just met or see regularly and feel attracted to.

Emotional Entanglement: Apparently, the word on the streets is that this form of cheating is weirdly popular in the month of August. Don’t ask me why, I’m just as clueless as you are.

Anyhoo…

This happens when you form a deep emotional bond with someone other than your partner. It involves strong feelings and sharing secrets, making it messy and hard to deal with.

Sexual Compulsion: This is a result of addictive behaviours. This form of cheating is also known as hypersexuality. This is a condition where someone engages in repetitive and usually excessive sexual behaviours that they struggle to control even with the negative consequences to their overall health and romantic relationships attached to them. These behaviours can be expressed in behaviours such as excessive porn consumption mixed with masturbation and actual sex with prostitutes or one-night stands with strangers.

Emotional Disconnection/Void Affair: Common in marriages, this happens when one partner feels emotionally distant and looks for emotional closeness elsewhere. It might not involve physical cheating but focuses on finding emotional connection and validation outside the marriage.

Set Boundaries and Talk: Share your feelings and set clear rules about what’s okay in your relationship. Spend time together and avoid tempting situations that could lead to cheating.

Get Real and Reconnect: Open up about your emotions and listen to each other. Be honest, avoid emotional secrets, and if things feel off, consider couples counseling. Find fun activities you both enjoy to rebuild your connection.

Address Issues Head-On: If you’re struggling with excessive sexual behavior, seek therapy and talk openly about it. Avoid triggers like explicit content and find healthy ways to manage stress, such as exercising or picking up new hobbies.

When you’re ready, here are a few ways I can help:

Explore my premium, easy-to-use guides to tackle specific issues in your romantic relationship here

For a more personal touch, book a one-on-one session with me. We’ll tackle your challenges, reduce stress, and create a clear plan to get things back on track here

Here are some of the recent newsletter issues I’ve written;

One of the most influential relationship coaches in Nigeria shares tips on the qualities men need to become great husbands to their wives

Stephan Speaks shares 5 things a man would not let you do if he really loves you

Dr Trish Leigh explains the relationship between porn use and ADHD in adults

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