Last week, Adaeze almost destroyed the best relationship of her life because her friends convinced her that peace meant settling. She was sitting in her car, phone in hand, ready to make the call that would end everything. Then David smiled at her through his window. Missed part 2? Read it here.
That smile broke something open.
Not her heart. Her illusion.
She walked into that apartment and looked at David, really looked at him. Flour in his hair from making fresh bread. Sauce on his apron. The kind of domestic joy her friends called boring.
"Hey beautiful," he said, like he'd been waiting for her all day. Which he probably had.
"David, can I ask you something?"
"Always."
"Why do you love me?"
He stopped stirring the jollof rice. Put down the wooden spoon. Gave her the kind of attention that costs nothing and means everything.
"You make me want to be better. Not different. Better. You laugh at my terrible jokes. You let me take care of you without making it about my ego. You're brilliant and kind and you smell like vanilla in the mornings."
He paused.
"And you see me. Really see me. Not the guy I think I should be or the guy other people want me to be. Just... me."
The contrast hit her like cold water.
Biodun used to say he loved her "energy." Never her. Her energy. Like she was a battery he could drain when he needed a charge.
Emeka loved her "vibe" and her "independence", which was a translation for the fact that he loved that she paid her own way and never asked him to show up emotionally.
Tunde loved how she "didn't pressure him", which was code for accepting crumbs and calling it a meal.
But David? David loved her. Not her performance or her convenience, but her.
That night, she made a list.
Not a pros and cons list.
A truth list.
What I actually want in a partner:
Someone who chooses me daily, not just when it's convenient.
Someone who sees my worst days and doesn't make me feel like I need to earn their presence.
Someone who wants to build something real, not just have fun until something better comes along.
Someone whose love feels like safety, not a test I might fail.
Someone who makes me feel like home.
What David gives me: Every single thing on that list.
What my “friends” want for me: Drama, they can live vicariously through.
The revelation was brutal and liberating.
Her friends weren't worried she was settling. They were worried she was evolving beyond their entertainment.
The next morning, she did something radical. She started paying attention to her own body instead of their opinions.
When David texted, her shoulders relaxed.
When Biodun used to text, her chest would tighten.
When David called, she smiled before answering.
When Emeka used to call, she'd rehearse what to say.
When David touched her, she melted.
When Tunde used to touch her, she'd perform pleasure she didn't feel.
Her body had been trying to tell her the truth all along. She'd just been too busy listening to everyone else to hear it.
But knowing the truth and trusting it are different things entirely.
That weekend, her friends tried again.
"Ada, we're just looking out for you."
"You deserve passion, not just comfort."
"What if you're missing out on your great love story?"
For a moment, the old doubt crept in. What if they were right? What if she was playing it too safe?
Then she remembered something her grandmother used to say:
A tree that produces good fruit doesn't need to prove itself to the forest.
David was good fruit. The kind of love that nourished instead of depleted. The kind of relationship that built her up instead of wearing her down.
Her friends wanted her to cut down the tree because it wasn't dramatic enough for their taste.
That's when she made the decision that would change everything.
She was done letting other people edit her love story.
But making that choice and knowing how to execute it were two different things.
She needed a system.
A way to filter out the noise and focus on what actually mattered.
What happened next surprised even her.
Next week, I'll show you exactly how she developed the method that not only saved her relationship but transformed how she made every major decision in her life.