Love & Money

First things first, happy new month.

Today, we’d be talking about something even scarier than Halloween.

Your empty bank account

I’m joking, I’m joking. Well… sort of.

It’s no surprise to most of you reading this that money in abundance or scarcity creates some kind of “turbulence” in people's lives. Some of you see money as a tool to be used others see it as property to be owned and maintained.

Irrespective of whatever perspective you choose to look at the issue, the effect of money is so significant that it’s one of the leading causes of divorces worldwide.

Some people divorce their spouses because of a lack of money, others divorce their spouses to have an abundance of it and never have to work a day in their lives.

Either way, financial conflicts between couples that happen consistently destroy romantic relationships and marriages globally because as much as people do not want to admit it, love is not cheap. it never was, and never will be. For love to have a fighting chance at flourishing, the security that stable finances (MONEY) bring to the union must be present at all times.

So, let’s talk about it!

Financial conflicts between romantic couples stem from these major contributing factors;

This month, we're discussing financial conflicts and the four main factors that cause them. We'll begin this week with the first factor.

In lots of romantic relationships and marriages, you often see one person who enjoys saving and investing money, while the other prefers spending. This occurs because people with different personalities and temperaments tend to be drawn to each other, often following the idea that "opposites attract" in romantic relationships and marriages.

P.S. Opposites ONLY attract when it comes to temperaments and personality types, but not when it comes to moral values and relationship deal-breakers.

So, the question remains…why do couples have different spending habits?
simple! couples often have different spending habits because of their financial upbringing and values. For instance, one partner might come from a family that saves and invests diligently, while the other partner may have a more relaxed approach to spending.

Why were they raised with different financial values and beliefs?
Because they come from different family backgrounds and were influenced by their parents' approach to money.

Why were their parents' approaches to money different?
Because of their own upbringing, culture, and life experiences.

Why did their upbringing, culture, and life experiences shape their financial values?
Because people's attitudes toward money are often deeply ingrained and learned from a young age, which can lead to different spending habits when they enter a romantic relationship or marriage.

To permanently solve the pain point of financial conflicts arising from different spending habits in your romantic relationship or marriage, you can follow this game plan:

Open Communication
Start by having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your financial habits and values. Share your thoughts and feelings about money be it positive or negative.

List Your Financial Goals
Sit down together and list your short-term and long-term financial goals. This can include saving for a house, retirement, vacations, or paying off debt.

Create a Budget
Create a shared budget that factors in both of your spending habits. Ensure it matches the financial goals you've both agreed on. This budget should also set aside money for personal spending to accommodate your individual needs.

Set Spending Boundaries
Both of you should set clear spending limits for non-essential expenses. This means deciding how much money you can spend on things like your PS5 games and her wigs, bags, shoes, makeup, and skincare products without having to ask each other for approval.

Compromise
Understand that compromise is essential. You may not agree on everything, but being willing to meet in the middle can help both of you avoid conflicts.

Regular Check-Ins
Schedule regular financial check-ins to review your budget and financial progress. This keeps you both on the same page and allows for adjustments as needed.

Educate and Learn
If one partner has better financial skills or knowledge, use this as an opportunity to educate and learn from each other. Attend financial workshops or read books together. Financial freedom is built brick by brick and not overnight.

Seek Professional Help if Needed
If conflicts persist, consider seeking the help of a financial counsellor or therapist who specializes in relationship and money issues.

Have separate Accounts (if necessary)
If your differences are extreme, consider maintaining separate bank accounts for personal expenses, while still maintaining a joint account for shared bills and savings goals. The goal here is to have “joint accountability” between both of you.

Celebrate Achievements
Celebrate your financial achievements together. When you reach a financial goal or stick to your budget, acknowledge the effort and success.

Be Patient and Kind
Remember that changing spending habits and resolving financial conflicts takes time. Be patient and kind with each other as you work through these issues.

Review and Adjust
Regularly check your financial strategy and make changes as your situation evolves. Life events, like having kids or changes in your income, might mean you need to update your financial plan.

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