It's okay to be jealous 🙂

So I was talking to a friend the other day and the conversation veered towards jealousy. I made the argument that jealousy wasn’t inherently a bad thing and in some cases. She responded by giving me a look which I’ve come to understand from our years of friendship means “you are crazy”

As soon as I saw the look on her face, I did not only try to defend what I said, I doubled down and went even harder by saying “ Jealousy can be a healthy sign depending on the situation and people involved”. I then proceeded to explain the concept I’m about to share with you, to her.

Let’s begin!!!

As I’ve stated already, being jealous is acceptable in my opinion as long as you have the right to be.

A common misconception I've seen people make over & over again on my relationship coaching journey & in life generally is seeing people think jealousy and envy mean the same thing. They do not. Being jealous means being fiercely protective of your rights and possessions as an individual.

This is the emotion people feel when they think something,(i.e. a benefit) or someone (i.e. romantic partner), that is meant to be for them alone is being taken, used or enjoyed by someone else. This emotion is commonly seen in & exhibited by people in monogamous relationships with other people, places or things.

Jealousy as an emotion only stirs up in living beings when they care about a relationship & all the rights & privileges that come with it.

As a Christian one of the names of God in Hebrew is "YAHWEH KANAH" which means " The jealous Lord". This is why the instruction not to worship or adore any other god besides him is part of the 10 commandments.

As our creator, he wants to be the only God we adore, worship and have a relationship with. The same thing goes with husbands, wives, girlfriends & boyfriends with their respective romantic partners & in their romantic relationships.

This is why the saying goes "a jealous husband/a jealous wife" and not "an envious husband/ an envious wife" or an envious God.

So what now is envy? Envy is a resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

It is a deep desire to have something or someone someone else has. Envy is so bad that it's one of the 7 deadly sins. Why? I believe part of the reason is the fact that you have no right to want to have the qualities or possessions someone else has worked for.

Envious people are the ones that poison others, spread lies about people, and shit on people in the comments section especially when they're celebrating a win 😂💀. Envious people are the haters of the world and crabs of the ocean. They're the people who believe someone else's win somehow takes away from theirs and guarantees their loss. They’re the ones who are never happy when people apart from them have good news or celebrate good things.

Envious people are dangerous people. Fortunately, most envious people are cowards who have no desire or ability for in-person physical confrontation.

Here’s what I suggest you do when dealing with envious people in your life. Avoid them as much and as frequently as you humanly can. Keep them far away from everything & everyone you love & hold dear.

This also includes any forms of good news and events that are happening in your life. There are things you should not share with anyone no matter how good they are and how excited they make you feel. Shut Up!!! AND ENJOY YOUR BLESSINGS IN SILENCE.

As for jealous people in your life who have earned the right to be in & occupy the position they hold in your life, have an honest conversation with them to know the boundaries you broke that stirred up the feeling of jealousy in them, then work together with them to stop breaking the boundaries in question and watch the emotion of jealousy wash away from their hearts like lines drawn on the sea shore.