How to Stop Loving Someone Who Will Never Love You Back

Imagine this…

It’s 9:26 PM. You’re sitting on your bed, staring at your phone.

You sent a message two hours ago: “Hope your day’s going well.”

Short. Thoughtful. Easy to reply to.

The screen stays dark. No reply. Not even a “seen.”

You tell yourself they’re probably busy—work, friends, life—but deep down, you know that’s not it. Your stomach’s been in knots all evening because this isn’t the first time.

It’s the same every week.

You text first.

You give more.

You “care” harder.

And they never meet you halfway.

So why do you keep hoping they’ll change?

Why do you like torturing yourself?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth; It’s not about you being too much. It’s about them never being enough.

Emotionally unavailable people don’t suddenly wake up and start giving you the love you deserve.

And while you chase their love, you lose time, energy, and—most painfully—yourself.

So let’s unpack this.

Why do we fall for people who can’t love us back?

And how do we stop hoping for someone who will never choose us?

“Just give it time—they’ll come around eventually.”

It sounds hopeful, right? But it’s a lie.

Waiting for someone to change doesn’t fix the pain—it stretches it out like a bad movie you already know the ending to.

You see…

You’re not struggling because you’re “too needy” or “asking for too much.”

You’re struggling because you’re trying to love someone who isn’t capable—or willing—to love you back.

The more you chase their love, the more distant they get. It’s like quicksand: the harder you try, the deeper you sink.

Research on attachment styles shows that emotionally unavailable people often pull away when things get close, leaving their partners confused, rejected, and questioning their worth.

It’s not your job to fix them.

Your only job is to return your energy and put it where it belongs—into you.

Here’s how to stop chasing and start healing:

Step 1: Spot the Red Flags

What to do: Write down patterns of emotional unavailability you’ve noticed in this person—or past relationships.
Why it works: Recognizing these patterns helps you stop blaming yourself for someone else’s behaviour.
How to do it: Ask questions like:

Step 2: Reclaim Your Energy

What to do: Focus on your emotional needs, not theirs.
Why it works: Emotionally unavailable people thrive when you overextend. Taking your energy back breaks the cycle.
How to do it: Write a list of qualities you want in a partner—and don’t settle for “potential.” Look for consistent actions, not empty promises.
Outcome: You’ll start attracting relationships that feel mutual and fulfilling.

Step 3: Enforce Boundaries Like a Pro

What to do: Practice saying no to behaviours that leave you feeling small.
Why it works: Boundaries aren’t about rejection. They’re about self-respect.
How to do it: Next time they flake, say: “I need someone who values my time. Let’s reconnect when you’re ready for that.”
Outcome: You’ll feel empowered—and finally free to let go of anyone who doesn’t meet your standards.

Quick Win Exercise

Write down one thing you’ll stop tolerating in relationships.
Is it inconsistency? Breadcrumbing? Emotional avoidance?
Promise yourself: next time it happens, you’ll address it head-on.

YOUR NEXT STEP

You don’t have to stay stuck in the pain of loving someone who can’t love you back.

The Relationship Reset is a 45-minute 1:1 video session designed to help you reclaim your power and break free from patterns that keep you chasing what you’ll never get.

Here’s what we’ll do together:

It’s personal, transformative, and 100% tailored to your situation.

You deserve to stop waiting for love that never comes and start living a life where you come first.

Click here to book your session today.

Did you find this valuable? Please share it with a friend who might need this. You could be saving their relationship.

P.S. First time reading? Subscribe here to get weekly insights that keep your relationship thriving.

Reach out anytime on any platform below!