The Hidden cost of poor sexual communication

We’ve all heard the shortened version of this original quote by Thomas Carlyle which is “Silence is golden” at one time or the other in our lives.

This quote refers to the idea that sometimes saying nothing in some situations, predicaments or circumstances is the best option. This quote however does not apply to issues relating to sexual frustration as a result of “incompatibility” between romantic couples. It makes it worse. Much worse.

When it comes to sexual frustration, saying something however mundane or irrelevant concerning the issue is always the better option because it increases your chances of actually having consistent, pleasurable and satisfying sexual experiences with your romantic partner.

Last week we started the journey to find the root causes of sexual incompatibility. So far…so good I guess.

If you’re new here,

You can check out last week’s post 👉🏾 here

This week, we're talking about the next big problem down the rabbit hole which is sexual communication. Or rather a lack of it between romantic and married couples.

A lot of couples face this issue but often keep it to themselves. And because they keep it to themselves the problem grows and gets worse over a relatively short period.

Ironically, this problem in my line of business has the title of “The bedroom's loudest enemy”

Anyhoo!

A lack of sexual communication plays a major destructive role in leading couples to have a dead bedroom.

Like last week, here’s a breakdown of the issue using the root cause technique;

Question: Why do couples in romantic relationships and marriages experience a lack of sexual communication between them?
Answer: Because one or both partners feel uncomfortable discussing their sexual desires and needs openly and honestly with their partner.

Question: Why do they feel uncomfortable discussing their sexual desires and needs honestly and openly with their romantic partner?
Answer: Because they fear judgment or rejection from their partner, which might lead to relationship conflicts.

Question: Why do they fear judgment or rejection?
Answer: Because they may have experienced criticism or negative reactions in the past when attempting to communicate about their desires.
P.S.; This negative reaction may or may not have been done by their current romantic partner.

Question: Why did they experience criticism or negative reactions in the past?
Answer: Possibly because their partner had different sexual desires, and instead of discussing and compromising, they reacted negatively or defensively.

Question: Why do they have different sexual desires?
Answer: The factors that affect and influence sexual desires in people are; biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors. These factors combine uniquely in each person to create their specific preferences and needs. The influential effects and personal experiences of these three factors vary between people hence the difference in sexual desires.

So basically, the root causes for this are; fear of judgment or rejection from one's partner, past negative experiences when attempting to communicate about sexual desires and differences in sexual desires.

So…what now?

Here's a simple yet effective roadmap

Step 1: Build Trust and Safety
Create a safe, non-judgmental environment for discussion with your partner as this is crucial for having productive sexual communication. You and your partner should commit to having open and honest discussions without fear of criticism or rejection. Reaffirming your love and commitment to each other is vital when practising this step.

Step 2: Initiate the Conversation
Designate a specific time to discuss your sexual desires and needs with your partner. Doing this helps create a focused and safe space for the conversation. Also, both of you should create and agree to unbreakable rules that must stand during the conversation.

Step 3: Practice Active Listening
Active listening plays a pivotal role in effective communication. You and your partner should give each other your full attention. Avoid interrupting or reacting negatively when it is your partner’s turn to speak. Seek to understand your partner’s perspective, especially when it differs from your own. Doing this promotes empathy and connection.

Step 4: Explore The Differences in Your Unique Sexual Desires
You and your partner should openly discuss your sexual desires. Aim to understand the root causes that contribute to your partner's sexual preferences. Avoid judgment and focus on empathy in this step.

Step 5: Find Common Ground
Identify areas for compromise with your partner while respecting each other’s boundaries. Experiment with new ideas or activities in the bedroom as this can help both of you find common ground without sacrificing your desires entirely.

Step 6: Maintain Ongoing Communication
Recognize that sexual desires can evolve. Engage in regular check-ins to ensure that you and your romantic partner continue to feel heard and sexually satisfied.

Step 7: Celebrate Progress
Acknowledge and celebrate all small steps forward in the sexual communication journey with your partner. Positive reinforcement is an element that motivates continued growth and improvement.

Step 8: Seek Professional Help If Needed
If challenges persist, you and your partner should consider consulting a sex therapist. These professionals can offer expert guidance.

So, last week, we dove into the nitty-gritty of what causes different sexual desires. It's not an easy topic to tackle, and I get it. The silence and misunderstandings can be tough, and they often lead to regrets.

But I've got some good news. There's a solution, and it's called "The Desire Equation" It's like your secret weapon for turning things around and fostering a deeper connection with your partner in the form of a digital workbook.

I have spent weeks trying to perfectly curate the content in it to help you unlock the secrets of sexual desire alignment with your boo.

Picture this: a relationship where you and your partner can talk openly and honestly about your sexual desires. No more awkward moments, no more regrets—just a stronger bond. "The Desire Equation" is your guide to making this happen.

So, What's Inside "The Desire Equation"?
I. Step-by-step guidance to create a safe, non-judgmental space for discussing your desires

II. Tips and strategies to understand your unique sexual desires and those of your partner.

III. Techniques for active listening and effective communication that bridge any gaps between you two.

IV. Ways to explore boundaries and fantasies, all while deepening your connection.

And a whole lot more!

By using this workbook, you and your partner can elevate your sexual communication, leading to a more satisfying and enriching sex life together.

If you are ready to give your relationship the boost it deserves and leave misunderstandings and emotional turmoil behind this workbook is your roadmap to a happier, more connected, blissful and sexually satisfied future in your romantic relationship and marriage.

This workbook is currently on SALE FOR A WEEK at $6.56 and after that goes back to its intended price of $9.86.

So, grab your copy today and unlock the secrets to a more loving and fulfilling relationship 👇🏽

Make sure you don't wait too long as this exclusive offer won't be around forever. Secure "The Desire Equation" now at this special price while you still can.

Here's to a future filled with love, understanding, and incredible sexual intimacy with your romantic partner 🥂

Until next time!!!