GREETINGS & BIENVENUE 👋🏾
Even though it’s just been shy of 31 days, it felt like 60. Finally ladies and gentlemen…It’s
I decided to start this month with some “heads up content” since it’s the month of love, before continuing the thematic monthly series we started last year, where I take a prevailing issue and break it down into its contributing components.
My inspiration for this week’s issue was obtained from a coaching session I had with a client last week concerning the “icks” about her relationship, as she repeatedly called it.
P.S: You can be 1 of 2 people who grab this week’s coaching slot here
From the coaching session and a little research, I realised that even though people can easily spot glaringly obvious signs of toxic relationships and behaviours a mile away, they still struggle with the not-so-obvious ones.
And this is what I’d be sharing today. There are quite a number of them but I’d be “foolhardy” to try to list and explain them all.
So, instead of going on a wild goose chase, I’ve picked out the 3 most overlooked subtle signs that are almost always present in all toxic relationships.
MY TWO CENTS 🧠
Disrespect
There are different ways this happens, but one that often gets ignored is the harmful words used in the relationship. If your current partner talks to you with disrespect, it's important to address it right away. Letting disrespectful language slide in your relationship means you're allowing it. Disrespectful words left unchecked will turn into disrespectful behaviour, making your relationship unhealthy and toxic. If your partner uses disrespectful language, it shows they don't respect you, aren't committed, and might not be ready for a good romantic relationship.
Poor Communication
This is the foundation for all toxic relationships. There is no toxic relationship without poor communication. If you can't talk to your current romantic partner without fighting, arguing, or quarrelling, then being together doesn't make sense. Healthy and effective communication is crucial for all romantic relationships to succeed.
Anger Issues
Don't justify your partner's bad temper. It's important to deal with it right away. It doesn't matter if their anger is currently directed at others and not at you. The way your partner treats people when angry will eventually affect your relationship, and it won't be long before they treat you the same way.
YOUR PLAYBOOK 📕
Fixing Disrespect
- Share how disrespectful words hurt and discuss why they happen.
- Make clear rules about what's not okay in how you talk to each other.
- Agree on what's acceptable behaviour, and don't let disrespect slide.
- If it keeps happening, think about talking to a professional for help.
Fixing poor communication
- Practice listening to each other without interrupting.
- Learn how to share your thoughts without making things worse.
- Learn ways to communicate that don’t lead to fights.
- You can also get help if you need it, like attending workshops or talking to someone professional.
Fixing Anger Issues
- Ask your partner to think about why they get so angry and how you feel during their anger outbursts.
- Work as a team to find what triggers the anger and how to handle it better.
- Make a plan to deal with anger positively.
- If needed, bring in someone neutral like a counsellor to help with anger talks.
YOUR NEXT STEPS 👣
END CREDITS 📃
Thank you for your time.
Your choice to spend time with me this week means a lot and I do not take it for granted.